Alex Wise's Comments

Comment Wall (205 comments)

You need to be a member of Vanguard Online Community to add comments!

Join Vanguard Online Community

At 3:44pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…

I don’t think men would be embarrassed by spousal abuse as there is the cultural chastisement from child hood “What? You are going to hit a girl?”.

Then again I’ve never been hit by a woman outside of my childhood or a karate class.

The comments I read here made me think that Kat is right that guys should speak up as they could end up holding the financial and legal bag.

For example, a small, maladjusted/violent spouse hits a man many times, he hits her once to stop it, she gets a mark, she goes to the police, she lies, the police/courts automatically take her side, etc.

At 3:44pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 3:43pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…

Jim — I am sorry to hear that, and I am sorry you felt ashamed. My title, BTW, is me being facetious — hope you realize that. No one “deserves” to be abused.

KC — well, that sucks. I do put people who live with mental illness in a different category, though. None of us who don’t have bipolar or depression or ADD — the whole lot — can know what it’s like. I tend to have compassion. Still, if the person isn’t take care of it through whatever means — therapy, drugs, both — then that’s different. Can’t live with your head in the sand.

T — That was smart of you. I did that; the smack was at the exact moment of recognition of reality. The aftermath was sad and painful, but nonviolent.

SF — It’s good to know that if the cops are called, a report is filed. However, if a man (or woman) doesn’t report it — and many men, at least, don’t — then there’s nothing.

Dads — so, are you excusing her for her “long history”? I hope not. I know patterns are extremely hard to break. But to continue a pattern of abuse or alcoholism and have that be OK is, well, not OK.

Brian — Couldn’t agree more: When you engage in physical violence, you cross a line that once crossed, can’t be stepped back on. Period.

Steve — Exactly — there is a double standard (did you click on the YouTube link?) Until we, as a society, talk about that openly, it will continue.

At 3:43pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 3:43pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…

At the same time, if it’s a full blown bonk that you are after, fine, go for it, but girls, don’t feel bad or blame anyone if it doesn’t go further than that. Tell yourself the truth about what you want. Unless you are drugged or forcibly raped, it’s your decision. Guys, if you are just out for sex, please don’t tell lies in order to get it. You can learn to make women feel so good that, if its right for them, they will want to do it with you.

The key is that we are all responsible for our own feelings around what we do. We can choose to feel good or bad, embarrassed or accepting.

At 3:42pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 3:42pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…

Ladies, remember to tell yourself the truth. So many women I know want to attract a man, but are unwilling to go through what they consider the demeaning ritual of displaying their desire. They expect men to pick up on their signals of readiness, whilst they are working full time to disguise them. Often this leads to flirting with the wrong men..safe men. One of the Flirting Weekend participants, Linda, confessed to me this pattern was so strong in her that she ended up marrying the wrong man!

It is possible to show a man that you are interested without full sexual readiness display.

At 3:42pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 3:42pm on May 6, 2021, Alex Wise said…

We all associate highly emotional and individualised charge to different words and despite being the universal building blocks of our language, each word will holds very specific meaning or meanings for each individual. As an example take any word and ask a friend what it means to them. Chances are it could have some very different associations.

Language can be used in many ways to guide people to specific experiences without being specific. It’s an art form, it works and it can be taught but until you master the skills of linguistic experience generators be very careful about what you say. When you think it, it will probably leak out naturally and you will be communicating at an unconscious primal level with honesty.

At 4:19pm on April 28, 2021, Alex Wise said…

Brian — when I was a kid, I used to think people could watch me from like anywhere. Made me not pick my nose (too much …) http://katwilder.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";-)" class="wp-smiley"/>

Mindy — Has anyone ever asked you to? No one’s asked me, but then again, I think of poor Erin Andrews …

Steve — You mean, it … hasn’t? Dang!

T — and me, too, OK? http://katwilder.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";-)" class="wp-smiley"/>

KC — and so how come I haven’t been invited to watch, hmmm….?

Matt — Gee, I’m starting to feel like even if I had a tape on the Net, no one would even be interested in watching! Now, I feel bad!

BLW — True, although there aren’t many people I see on a daily basis that I’d like to see naked, know what I mean?

At 4:19pm on April 28, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 5:18pm on March 26, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 4:38pm on March 24, 2021, Alex Wise said…

Dear Bitter Single Guy: Well ok. So about 7 months I met this guy and we started dating and stuff. But we both didn’t even know each other and pretty much based the relationship off looks. So of course we broke up but still continued to talk and then we got to know each other and stuff and now I find myself liking him more than I have ever liked anyone else. He tells me how much he likes me and acts like it in person (usually) but like usually right after the day we’ve hung out he acts all weird like he doesn’t want to talk to me and like kind of closes up. And plus we aren’t official or anything and have both been somewhat talking to other people. Should i try and forget about him before I get hurt, or should i try to keep going for him. Oh and might I add he has hurt me before badly! But he said he’s changed and likes me so much. ~I Want Him Back~

Dear IWHB: The Bitter Single Guy thinks you’re working too hard for this. The BSG sees how you could have gotten together just for looks (not the first time that’s ever happened, IWHB), and sees also how it could have ended pretty quickly if you didn’t know each other.

But at this point, your Baffling Beau needs to step up to the plate if he’s also feeling like you two should try again. If, as you say, he gets like, all weird and stuff after you’ve hung out, to hell with him. Wait for him to call you, wait for him to ask you out.

You ask if you should try and forget him before you get hurt, but the BSG and you know that you’re already hurt IWHB. Take a step back.

At 4:35pm on March 24, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 5:34pm on March 17, 2021, Alex Wise said…

I think I may have changed my mind about the Crocs. I was never interested in them before, and my daughter would never let me buy any, http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="wp-smiley"/> . Now after looking at the new styles, I feel I could give that a try.

As for me, I am slowly changing some big parts of my personality. After working from home for the last 8 years my natural introverted tendencies have become overpowering. I am now in school to become a physical therapist, which is the total opposite of being an introvert, and slowly coming out of my shell. At times it is a very painful process, but in the end I am happier to see my self working with people, helping them really is helping me.

At 5:34pm on March 17, 2021, Alex Wise said…

Mine change sounds so typical, but it is the truth. I am trying to lose weight. I am trying to stay motivated on a daily basis. Most importantly, I have been exercising almost every day for 45 minutes. I am thinking eventually it will make a difference.

At 5:34pm on March 17, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 5:34pm on March 17, 2021, Alex Wise said…

I have recently given myself permission to be a woman and not just a mama, i.e. taking care of myself first. I used to think that if my daughter was taken care of, everything was good to go. Now I have found that taking care of me takes care of her, because I am more ready and available for her, and I feel better about myself for it.

At 5:33pm on March 17, 2021, Alex Wise said…
At 5:33pm on March 17, 2021, Alex Wise said…

My attitude toward my supervisor at work has definitely changed in the last few months, as I’ve gotten to know her better. I’ve decided to cut her some slack and accept her for who she is…since then, my job has gotten 100% better!

Forum Categories

© 2022   Created by Vanguard Media Ltd.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service