You know,someone who actually knows how to do something) As I write this,I’ve become aware that the no. 1 movie is yet another romantic comedy -no doubt involving two terminally cute people who will have us all weeping uncontrollably with tears of happiness as they wrap up another formulaic bit of emotional pornography .Attend a screening at your local cineplex tomorrow afternoon and see who’s buying this crap.But I warn you, it won’t be a good place to meet dudes.Diet plans and romantic fantasies are your big sellers, my friends – Hmmmm…..(Two morbidly obese people meet at a LA diet clinic. As the movie progresses, they both lose wait and become cuter. At the end, they realise that they love each-other and no longer need to eat a whole cake to be fulfilled.The “movie diet” is available at the concession stand ……..) Keep up the good work- you’re a great writer and the first thing I read every monday.
Or maybe I was just supposed to continue being a Good Samaritan. In the last year, I’ve smiled to every stranger who crosses my path, said hello to my cranky bus driver each morning and lent a hand whenever I saw someone in need. Occasionally, I get things out of it, like the time Mr. Bus Driver waited a full twenty seconds for me to catch up after having just missed his bus. But mostly, it just feels good to be kind.
Anyway, I go home and Google the old Chinese dude to get a phone number. He doesn’t answer my first couple calls. When he finally picks up, he yells at me because his English is lousy and he thinks I’m harassing him. So very slowly I say, “Your wallet…I have…I bring…your house.”
The guy doesn’t live too far away, though getting there is a bit of a hassle. When I arrive, the old man walks toward me as if I’ve just descended from Heaven. He reaches out to take my hand, holds it and won’t let go. Tears are in his eyes. He says, “I can’t believe there are people like you in this world. Who can believe this?” He tells me he’s been living in the US for decades and had pretty much given up on the idea any of us had principles anymore. Then here I am returning his wallet fully stocked. He keeps squeezing my hand, staring at me as if I’m some creature from the Planet of Nice.
Other titles include Quackers: The Duck Who Loved Me about a duckling I had to give away after it attacked me outside a kiddie pool, Goldie: A Life Cut Short, about a fan-tailed goldfish who made the mistake of eating all the fish food flakes I accidentally knocked into its tank, and Mona: The Great Dane Who Puked Incessantly After I Fed Her Ten Bowls of Chuck Wagon to See How Much Food Would Fit into her Horse-like Body.
A few evenings ago I was sitting on the sofa with the boyf's mum and her partner whilst they fussed over the bambino. I heard the front door open and remembering that I had an important message for him, I called out "Boyf?!"
"No it's your other lover..." he quipped. I felt my face flush with embarrassment and there was an awkward silence as his mum and her partner stared at me. The boyf froze when he stepped into the sitting room and saw them there but after a moment we all howled with laughter.
Almost three weeks in and I haven't lost the plot yet. I've shed a few tears over my c-section scar which was sore and has me on antibiotics, and of course, some of the tears were just me having over emotional hissy fit moments. I have to wear pants that seem bigger than Bridget Jone's and that's enough to reduce any woman that fears a visible panty line and looking like they're 80 around the waist when they should look 29 or younger to tears...
Haha! All sounds crazy but wonderful - you'll settle down into a routine in the next few months I'm sure.
In the next couple of weeks whether it's easier for you to come into the city to say hi or for me to pop in to see you one weekend I really don't mind. No rush, just whatever's easier for you. Don't want you stressing over showing her off to everyone (although I'm sure that you're so proud of her that you'd want to shout it from the rooftops!!!)
Still catch myself smiling when I see new photos of her. She looks so much like you...
It does kill me a little to have to wait, but that's what it means to be a grown-up. Living with delayed gratification. Lord knows that after all those years in grad school I should be able to live with it. But, I don't like it.
I also talked HP a bit about the ease of things with Mark being a problem. HP reassured me that easy is what it's all about. Easy is the most important thing. It should be easy in the beginning. She said, "It won't blind you to things." I think she's right. It's just, as I start inching closer to something (I'm not even inching at this point, I'm millimetering), I often lose perspective. I can't tell what I can't tell. That's what's scary. Getting along really well with a guy right off, having great conversations with him, and not worrying about whether or not he's going to call--that is the opposite of scary. Duh.
Look, I have had only 1 guy break up with me...the first one I ever dated and that was for a 7yr period. He was a big loser. Well, they all were, or I wouldnt have left! LOL No really, here is the deal...I have friends that are DYING to meet a guy. What do they do? Go to work, work out, go to a club. OKAYYYY......and? I have invited many of my single friends to marketing events, chamber events, strictly business events, Biz seminars, knitting groups, grand openings of golf course country club events and I get SHUT DOWN every time. Why would I want to go there? I dont golf? My business has to do with women. I dont want to join the chamber. I dont knit and how do I meet a guy at a knitting group? HELLO!!!
Keeping your dating profile fresh is something that will increase the amount of hits you receive! Here’s a quick way to do that – how about a new headline?
Sure, you’re not all the kings of one-liners. That’s okay. One of the best ways to keep your profile fresh is to mention the latest season or event. You know how you update your Facebook profile status? Some of us do that religiously (I do it from my phone when I’m not at my computer; its an addiction).
Think of your headline like your status, but more broad-based as far as time.
How about these for some Fall headlines:
Tip-toe through the pumpkin patch!
Awaiting the arrival of the Great Pumpkin.
Candy and witches and pumpkins, oh my!
If you think I’m ugly, I can always put a pumpkin over my head!
Trying not to eat the Halloween candy before Halloween…
Wanna help carve a jack-o-lantern?
The AC is off and windows are open! I love Fall!
New episodes of HOUSE make me happy!
Do you watch The Big Bang Theory too?
All of these can stand alone as a new headline, but they can also be incorporated into your profile should you have the time to that up, too. Get that from that special someone who may have passed you by!
If a woman just goes along with a man….that does tell me he does not have to work to keep up her interest. There are many reasons a man leaves…but one also has to use their intuition…..that is key. If you really are honest and go with your intuition…….he just won't leave in 3-4 months as you both should have talked and talked about your needs, wants, etc. If he is truly into you it won't happen. Weed out the "commitment phobics" early,very early in the game.