I knew enough about him to give me at least a 50% shot of success of finding him. Thanks to remembering his name and profession, Google led me right to him. I found that he was 100% honest about his career and education. When it comes to living on the East Side of Manhattan… unless there’s a 73rd and Madison in Cleveland, Ohio he wasn’t honest about that. He also neglected to tell me how he’s a board member of his children’s Hebrew School and the photo of Alan and his wife definitely showed that he has great taste.
One common mistake that women make is in expecting men to take the lead in establishing a relationship. While true to the ideal, these days passively taking what comes along often results in women wishing to be taken in hand all too often dating aggressive – even predatory – wolves rather than assertive men. Smooth talkers do not always make for good husbands or even decent friends!
I disagree with much of what Noone says because he seems to write as though Taken in Hand should be the norm, but what he says about individual relationships rings very true for me and my husband. I find myself both identifying with what he says about relationships individually AND disagreeing that this is the way it "should" be for most if not everyone. Couples should feel free to live how they feel is right for them, without letting popular opinion rule and limit their choices.
This does not take responsibility away from the woman. It is a mutual trust that is established. However, I do believe it is up to the man to establish that line of communication first and draw his significant other into this safety zone.
I believe you are actually protecting the relationship by providing that open communication. You validate her feelings; she i I wonder why it took us so long to get to this place? We were married for almost 20 years before we started living in a Taken In Hand way. I asked my husband why he didn't take me over his knee the first year we were married. He said I would have run home crying to my mommy if he had. It's true! Besides he was raised to be patient and certainly never to hit a woman so I don't know if it ever even occured to him.
Saturday afternoon my phone rings, it’s. She’s been one of the chicks that I mass text, so I talk to her on text/phone here and there, but I haven’t hung out with her since the.
I answer the phone, “What’s up?”
Her: “Hey what are you doing?”
Me: ”Just chilling at the crib, relaxing.”
Her: ”Do you want some company?”
To be honest, the question threw me off a bit. It’s something about people just calling and inviting themselves over right then and there that bothers me. You could be f****** up my schedule, how do you know I’m not busy or about to be busy?
I think I responded back something silly, like “what do you mean? Are you trying to come over?”
Her: ”Yeah, me and homegirl want to chill. Come pick us up.”
I'm not saying that you can be an unattractive guy and say nothing to get them. I'm saying that if you're moderately attractive, you'll get their attention when you're the only guy not hitting on them out of your group of friends. And wheus = you and me. difference b/t us => difference b/t you and me.
we = you and I. how we differ => how you and I differ.
You already know that proper grammar is important in this world
I think you're missing my point. When I dated two Asian girls at the same time? Every guy and his mother was hitting on them. When I met my ex-wife? Every guy and his mother was hitting on her, etc. The point is, I was competing with guys who were jocks and/or more physically attractive, yet I still got the girl. Why? Because I was the only decently attractive guy Not hitting on them.
Great posts. I just have a few questions. In the first part you talk about how looks do matter (which I agree with, not going to beat a dead horse here), but then in the 2nd part you say that you look like an average guy, but it's your attitude that gets you women. Isn't that contradictory? Or am I misunderstanding you?
And when you say that you ignore the attractive women do you mean you don't say anything at all to them, and that intrigues them because you're the attractive guy not talking to them? Or do you mean that you just don't hit on them constantly without trying to talk to them on a basic human level? Because for me, I've found that ignoring attractive women doesn't get them attracted to me. Either they sense my desperation or I need to get a better wardrobe, like you advocate, or get a better diet to pack on the pounds.
I like developing my thoughts on this subject and how it works. I’m not going to completely dismiss jealousy. I’m sorry to make a reference to your blog but it is relevant to point something out to you with the mention of your boyfriend: You yourself felt it. You can say its ‘unintentional’ but perhaps C should never meet this Interested Woman or use his ‘tool of darkness’ charming, social face on again if he doesn’t want you to feel this Dark Emotion that you cannot control. So was it really so horrid? When you both dealt with it? And won’t you be more secure when and if it might happen again (as in, might it actually be a good thing, indicating that you do actually care if you lose him, although you want him to be happy. Might it actually be a good thing, allowing you to share and heal with each other, thus feel closer. Or, all in all, might it not have been of much significance)?