Keep in mind white guys doing a cold approach open with a blank slate. For Asian guys she's already assumed all sorts of things about you before you even open your mouth - and they're all negative. If white guys start with a baseline threshold of 0, for Asian guys it's in the negatives. Your goal is to get to 0. ASAP.
Also, way too many Asian guys have nasal voices with gay-sounding inflections. Stop that. An Asian guy with a deep, masculine baritone could even be sexy.
No bowl cuts.
And all the advice above is void if you've got an Asian accent. Accents are the biggest game-killer. Even Asian-American girls won't hook up with an Asian guy with an accent. Stick to FOBs.
Also helps if you have white friends and white hobbies. A Korean buddy of mine's hooked up with a few white girls - he's got a deep surfer dude voice, no accent, conventional "white suburban dude" interests (plays guitar, into rock music like Oasis and the Beatles, hobbies like fishing, skiing etc.) Basically a banana - white dude in yellow skin. Guys like this with game shouldn't have problems with white girls.
So, what’s going on? I asked Jim, one of the guys I see at the gym.
I don’t know know him too well, but he’s often been on the treadmill or the elliptical machine at the same time I have. So, we have a casual friendship. We talk about his work, his wife, Laura, and their two girls, and I talk my work, The Kid and Sean.
This weekend, Jim looked more ragged than what a long week and a hard workout would do to you.
“I’m not quite sure,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s Laura. She told me that she needs some space.”
My right foot flew off the stationary bike.
“Oh,” I said, trying hard to sound neutral.
“What do you think that means?”
Oh dear. Well, I know what it means, but I’m not sure he really wanted to hear the truth.
I don’t think men would be embarrassed by spousal abuse as there is the cultural chastisement from child hood “What? You are going to hit a girl?”.
Then again I’ve never been hit by a woman outside of my childhood or a karate class.
The comments I read here made me think that Kat is right that guys should speak up as they could end up holding the financial and legal bag.
For example, a small, maladjusted/violent spouse hits a man many times, he hits her once to stop it, she gets a mark, she goes to the police, she lies, the police/courts automatically take her side, etc.
Jim — I am sorry to hear that, and I am sorry you felt ashamed. My title, BTW, is me being facetious — hope you realize that. No one “deserves” to be abused.
KC — well, that sucks. I do put people who live with mental illness in a different category, though. None of us who don’t have bipolar or depression or ADD — the whole lot — can know what it’s like. I tend to have compassion. Still, if the person isn’t take care of it through whatever means — therapy, drugs, both — then that’s different. Can’t live with your head in the sand.
T — That was smart of you. I did that; the smack was at the exact moment of recognition of reality. The aftermath was sad and painful, but nonviolent.
SF — It’s good to know that if the cops are called, a report is filed. However, if a man (or woman) doesn’t report it — and many men, at least, don’t — then there’s nothing.
Dads — so, are you excusing her for her “long history”? I hope not. I know patterns are extremely hard to break. But to continue a pattern of abuse or alcoholism and have that be OK is, well, not OK.
Brian — Couldn’t agree more:When you engage in physical violence, you cross a line that once crossed, can’t be stepped back on.Period.
Steve — Exactly — there is a double standard (did you click on the YouTube link?) Until we, as a society, talk about that openly, it will continue.
At the same time, if it’s a full blown bonk that you are after, fine, go for it, but girls, don’t feel bad or blame anyone if it doesn’t go further than that. Tell yourself the truth about what you want. Unless you are drugged or forcibly raped, it’s your decision. Guys, if you are just out for sex, please don’t tell lies in order to get it. You can learn to make women feel so good that, if its right for them, they will want to do it with you.
The key is that we are all responsible for our own feelings around what we do. We can choose to feel good or bad, embarrassed or accepting.
Ladies, remember to tell yourself the truth. So many women I know want to attract a man, but are unwilling to go through what they consider the demeaning ritual of displaying their desire. They expect men to pick up on their signals of readiness, whilst they are working full time to disguise them. Often this leads to flirting with the wrong men..safe men. One of the Flirting Weekend participants, Linda, confessed to me this pattern was so strong in her that she ended up marrying the wrong man!
It is possible to show a man that you are interested without full sexual readiness display.
We all associate highly emotional and individualised charge to different words and despite being the universal building blocks of our language, each word will holds very specific meaning or meanings for each individual. As an example take any word and ask a friend what it means to them. Chances are it could have some very different associations.
Language can be used in many ways to guide people to specific experiences without being specific. It’s an art form, it works and it can be taught but until you master the skills of linguistic experience generators be very careful about what you say. When you think it, it will probably leak out naturally and you will be communicating at an unconscious primal level with honesty.