It is the primary concern of each person in and out of a relationship - notwithstanding what kind of relationship it is - to be himself or herself. To be so established, the individual need to know what he or she want from life generally and from a relationship with another person. It behoves each person to love and respect himself or herself if such would be worthy of same from other people.
You need to know that you are an individual with potential for the best in life and never be cajoled by any circumstance whatsoever to settle for anything less than you feel that you are truly worthy of.
A self examination with the following questions is usually helpful before you venture out into any form of relationship, be it business, social or the very critical one - dating, especially one with marriage as its objective:
• Who do I say to myself that I am?
• What do I want from this relationship?
• Where are my moral boundaries?
• How much do I love myself?
It would be a great idea to measure your self-esteem and self-confidence levels and make certain that you are totally sure that you know you have what it takes to be self-sustaining in your ability to take decision in your best interest and would not be swayed by every wind of confusing pressures from other people, let alone someone of the opposite gender.
An unexamined life, said the philosophers, is not worth living. Here are, therefore, some of the basic ways you can establish your independence and a sense of self-worth:
• Examine your life and gain a sense of your own self-worth: You are a son or a daughter of Heavenly and earthly parents who love you and want you to succeed in your earth life experience. You have divine potential, just like God Himself.
• You are created with an inherent power to choose for yourself: Agency, the freedom to choose - is an integral part of the plan of creation. It is religiously known and have been scientifically proven that man has power to choose what he wants. Even when it appears that we have not made any choice, we have actually chosen. Therefore, you can choose what you want of the several choices available to you on daily and hourly basis. Our choices influence our character and our character determines our destiny.
• Decide on your standard of morality and advertise it: You are responsible for setting a standard of morality with which you wish to be associated. Let this standard garnish your thoughts unceasingly. At the early stage of a relationship with a young man or woman, let out this standard so that it would be known.
• Establish boundaries: In your mind tell yourself before you start meeting anybody for dating or courtship relationships how far you can go before marriage. The right thing is to ensure that there is no premarital sex. To succeed at not having premarital sex, you need to create space by excluding such activities as necking, kissing, staying alone, or even staying in the dark in crowded places. If you have established these limits, then when the temptations come, you would be in a better position to resist.
• Imbibe self-respect and respect for others: If you respect yourself and others, you would not push at their boundaries. You would also protect your boundaries and instead of feeling patronized by a premarital sex solicitation, you would feel insulted and be able to express your displeasure and take the appropriate steps away from the source of distress and insult.
If you need help to establish your independence and a sense of self-woth to help you navigate the relationship waters, contact Francis Nmeribe
Francis Nmeribe helps people who desire a joyful relationship in their dating, courtship and marriage relationships. He is the author of numerous great relationship and personal development articles and books including - "Foundation For Joyful Relationships", "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married", "Growing From Your Experiences", "Action Quotes". If you need help with your dating, courtship and marriage relationships, contact Francis Nmeribe at http://www.successpublishers.com.ng. Subscribe to the RSS Feeds and get a free copy of the eBook version of "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married". Read more free relationship articles on my blog http://marryright.wordpress.com. Email: [email protected]
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