FROM 2010 WETIN DE? – 4


Edwin Eriata Oribhabor

Growing up as a young boy, I witnessed how some parents quarrelled over chop moni and others. I also had
the opportunity of seeing situations where some men were konfam drunk and on several occasions brought embarrassment and shame to their homes. But to my surprise, di waif of dis kain men hardly abandoned their marriages. The excuse was “bikos of mai children”. Funny enough, most of these women were petty traders/sellers of difren difren tins laik akara an agidi, granut and smol smol provishon dem, etc. Despite smol smol agro fo dia haus, most parents never lost the focus of giving their children good education.

A friend once told me that whenever you hear the woman se bikos of mai children, bikos of mai children you shouldn’t take it on the face value. According to this friend of mine, it’s either pepe de flo and madam could bear and manej with other shortcomings or the husband de pafom im duti witaut complen, di we e sopoz bi. His summation was that the later rules. Therefore, should “duti pafomans” be an overriding factor in any marriage?

I recall vividly of a man in my neighbourhood who was generally referred to as a yeye man bikos e de olwes fol im famili han (i.e. was a regular disappointment) to his family. For space, there would be no need mentioning ol di yeye tins he used to do. However, he is currently the Pastor of one of the biggest Christian congregations in his community. Assuming the wife had left him because he was a poor man or a drunk, or because e no de pafom im duti wel I wonder what his children would have become today. The excesses of their father then became the strength of their mother who paid a lot of sacrifices to keep the family front strong and going. Although, it’s not given that children from broken homes were
never-do-wells, we must give it to the woman who could cope with ol di plenti normal"">wahala we folo tait situeshon laik dat.

The woman is the hub on which the entire home rotates. If you are a married woman who is not happy wit oga
hau oga de pafom
, please note the followings;

fontEnsure that most of your friends are elderly women whose marriages are either working or did work.
(no bi sai kro kro gels yu go tek mek frend). Learn how to prepare specialised delicacies of old to keep your man up and doing at all times. (awa gran mama dem sabi wetin ah de tok).

fontAlways keep yourself tidy (mek yu no jos liv yo bodi laik se
yu don finish.
Oga ai no go tu de autsaid).

fontThe entire home should always be organised and tidy at all times (no bi se wen Oga an im frend dem kom haus na den madam go de klin s*** fo graund).

font-family:Wingdings;mso-fareast-font-family:Wingdings;mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings;color:black">§
mso-bidi-font-family:"Lucida Sans Unicode";color:black"">Be respectful, homely,
friendly and ready to receive guests, family friends and relations open heartedly.

fontThe woman should be a good manager of the entire finances of the home (bot if oga no wan kari yu along jos liv am. On de bi won de e go no wetin de). Recently, some men were in Abuja in company of their wives/spouses on a training programme. In course of showing them around the city, we visited anherbal shop at the city centre. The entire delegation was excited at the quality of the products found at the shop. One of the women openly prescribed what the husband should buy to helep Oga to bi oga propa. It was a very interesting outing. Women should be free to discuss wit dia Oga dem on the way forward but importantly, mek di wuman tek am izi. Di tin no bi fud. Abi? Haba!

fontThe husband should be able to properly study the wife to know weda imsef de trai and be sincere to wok wit madam mek tins de flo.

fontThe wife should be sincere and loyal to Oga. She should always look out for his weak points; work on them for their mutual benefits. (Hapi marej an pikin pas evritin) . If you have signed fo beta fo wos, ahbeg no chenj haf we. Many years ago, “awa politishans” talked about 2010 with fervour. It was painted as the future magic year, an Eldorado of some sort. We looked forward to it with enthusiasmand passion. We were made to understand that by 2010, eviritin go don balans”. Wetin de nau na Vision 20-2020. We mustn’t forget that it is only when the Oga an madam are happily married that they can function optimally in any givensociety. Today, we have men who have different houses without a home and plenty of children who are not excited at addressing them as fathers. Dis no bi beta tin, na sirios mata! Som of dem sef de du politika lida we no get hed, no get tail.

From 2010, let’s talk less of politics and more of how our homes and children should be prepared for tomorrow. Charity na fo haus e stat. Let’s pay attention at the various tips required in providing a lasting relationship fo awa Oga an awa madam dem fo Naija. Let’s focus on ol di deti deti tins we awa oga dem de du fo haidin while they act holi holi whenever they get back home to the embrace of their innocent wives. We should be able to tell ourselves the truth that as a man, you may have all the money, and sincerely doing your utmost in showing love and care to madam an di children, normal"">bot no jos tink se na ol an ol bi dat. Di tin pas so!

The woman will always hold the key to the peace and happiness of every home. Care and love for the family
is a holistic package. Moni gud bot e no go fit du ol an ol fo marej. As the engine room of any marriage, women are exhorted to always think of hau dia mama an papa tek mek dia marej wok and should stop looking for the slightest excuse of severing their marriages. In the event of the failure of any marriage, women usually share more of the blame. It’s natural.

From 2010 therefore, let’s begin to bring back the better parts of our culture as we imbibe in our children ways of making a good home whenever they become married. From 2010, plenti tins de bot jos shain yo ai, du beta, plan wel, beta go berekete. END

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