A family that I know adopted a male child after fifteen years of childless marriage.  Two years after the adoption, the wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.  Last year, the man died and today, there is an unresolved case of who is the first son.  Who in your own opinion is the first son?

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Bereshit - Genesis 15: 1 After these things the word of HaShem came unto Abram in a vision, saying: 'Fear not, Abram, I am thy shield, thy reward shall be exceeding great.'
2 And Abram said: 'O L-rd GOD, what wilt Thou give me, seeing i go hence childless, and he that shall be possessor of my house is eliezer of damascus?'
3 and abram said: 'behold, to me thou hast given no seed, and, lo, one born in my house is to be mine heir.'
4 And, behold, the word of HASHEM came unto him, saying: 'THIS MAN SHALL NOT BE THINE HEIR; BUT HE THAT SHALL COME FORTH OUT OF THINE OWN BOWELS SHALL BE THINE HEIR.'


Bereshit - Genesis 16:1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bore him no children; and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'Behold now, HaShem hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my handmaid; it may be that I shall be builded up through her.' And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar the Egyptian, her handmaid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife.
4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.


Bereshit – Genesis 21: 1 And HaShem remembered Sarah as He had said, and HaShem did unto Sarah as He had spoken.
2 And Sarah conceived, and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which G-d had spoken to him.
3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bore to him, Isaac…
8 And the child grew, and was weaned. And Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned.
9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport.
10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham: 'Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.'
11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight on account of his son.
12 And G-D said unto Abraham: 'LET IT NOT BE GRIEVOUS IN THY SIGHT BECAUSE OF THE LAD, AND BECAUSE OF THY BONDWOMAN; IN ALL THAT SARAH SAITH UNTO THEE, HEARKEN UNTO HER VOICE; FOR IN ISAAC SHALL SEED BE CALLED TO THEE.
13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.'

 

 

 

From your discussion, I can understand that you are of the opinion that the son from the wife's womb is the first son.  What then is the fate of the adopted son and if you were in his shoes, how will you feel?

Akhabue said:

Bereshit - Genesis 15: 1 After these things the word of HaShem came unto Abram in a vision, saying: 'Fear not, Abram, I am thy shield, thy reward shall be exceeding great.'
2 And Abram said: 'O L-rd GOD, what wilt Thou give me, seeing i go hence childless, and he that shall be possessor of my house is eliezer of damascus?'
3 and abram said: 'behold, to me thou hast given no seed, and, lo, one born in my house is to be mine heir.'
4 And, behold, the word of HASHEM came unto him, saying: 'THIS MAN SHALL NOT BE THINE HEIR; BUT HE THAT SHALL COME FORTH OUT OF THINE OWN BOWELS SHALL BE THINE HEIR.'


Bereshit - Genesis 16:1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bore him no children; and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'Behold now, HaShem hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my handmaid; it may be that I shall be builded up through her.' And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar the Egyptian, her handmaid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife.
4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.


Bereshit – Genesis 21: 1 And HaShem remembered Sarah as He had said, and HaShem did unto Sarah as He had spoken.
2 And Sarah conceived, and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which G-d had spoken to him.
3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bore to him, Isaac…
8 And the child grew, and was weaned. And Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned.
9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport.
10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham: 'Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.'
11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight on account of his son.
12 And G-D said unto Abraham: 'LET IT NOT BE GRIEVOUS IN THY SIGHT BECAUSE OF THE LAD, AND BECAUSE OF THY BONDWOMAN; IN ALL THAT SARAH SAITH UNTO THEE, HEARKEN UNTO HER VOICE; FOR IN ISAAC SHALL SEED BE CALLED TO THEE.
13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.'

 

 

 


Bereshit – Genesis 21:13 AND ALSO OF THE SON OF THE BONDWOMAN WILL I MAKE A NATION, BECAUSE HE IS THY SEED.'


Bereshit – Genesis 17:18 And Abraham said unto G-d: 'Oh that Ishmae...


19 And G-d said: ''Nay, but Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son; a...


20 And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee; behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.




21 But My covenant will I establish with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.'


 

Charles Ugochukwu Okere said:
From your discussion, I can understand that you are of the opinion that the son from the wife's womb is the first son.  What then is the fate of the adopted son and if you were in his shoes, how will you feel?

Akhabue said:

Bereshit - Genesis 15: 1 After these things the word of HaShem came unto Abram in a vision, saying: 'Fear not, Abram, I am thy shield, thy reward shall be exceeding great.'
2 And Abram said: 'O L-rd GOD, what wilt Thou give me, seeing i go hence childless, and he that shall be possessor of my house is eliezer of damascus?'
3 and abram said: 'behold, to me thou hast given no seed, and, lo, one born in my house is to be mine heir.'
4 And, behold, the word of HASHEM came unto him, saying: 'THIS MAN SHALL NOT BE THINE HEIR; BUT HE THAT SHALL COME FORTH OUT OF THINE OWN BOWELS SHALL BE THINE HEIR.'


Bereshit - Genesis 16:1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bore him no children; and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'Behold now, HaShem hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my handmaid; it may be that I shall be builded up through her.' And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar the Egyptian, her handmaid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife.
4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.


Bereshit – Genesis 21: 1 And HaShem remembered Sarah as He had said, and HaShem did unto Sarah as He had spoken.
2 And Sarah conceived, and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which G-d had spoken to him.
3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bore to him, Isaac…
8 And the child grew, and was weaned. And Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned.
9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport.
10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham: 'Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.'
11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight on account of his son.
12 And G-D said unto Abraham: 'LET IT NOT BE GRIEVOUS IN THY SIGHT BECAUSE OF THE LAD, AND BECAUSE OF THY BONDWOMAN; IN ALL THAT SARAH SAITH UNTO THEE, HEARKEN UNTO HER VOICE; FOR IN ISAAC SHALL SEED BE CALLED TO THEE.
13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.'

 

 

 

If she trully love their adopted son, he ought to be treated as the first son. Its no fault of his that she had their child after he wiped shame and tears from her face for the period she was childless. If she denies him now, then she is unfair and wicked, at best she should treat both equally.
Mich I agree with you, but one issue that still needs to be addressed is the concern of the kins.  How will the legitimate son feel if he discovers that he is indeed the true blood of the parents? Certainly they will tell him.

Okolobah Efe Michael said:
If she trully love their adopted son, he ought to be treated as the first son. Its no fault of his that she had their child after he wiped shame and tears from her face for the period she was childless. If she denies him now, then she is unfair and wicked, at best she should treat both equally.

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