THE LIZARD AND THE NIGERIAN POLITICIAN
How in the world did I ever imagine comparing a Nigerian Lizard to a Politician? Oh sorry, a Nigerian politician to a Lizard. Am I not insulting a technocrat who in all benevolence wants to serve his father land righteously? What would a lizard have in common with the Nigerian politician? It really baffles me that of all the animals (even the tortoise the most cunning animal at least according to story books) it is the Lizard that made it to this editorial. I say Kudos to our subjects both.
Early morning in the swamps of Niger delta give you the opportunity to witness nature at its peak; from small periwinkles to large animals struggling for survival and making the best out of nature’s reserves. You rarely find the Lizard in this race for survival but when you do it’s quite a specter to watch. The Red neck Lizard is the king in the pack of a colony of females and children. He usually controls the territory alone and dictates who gets what and how? In most cases, others toil and he spends his time mating and enjoying their sweat. He is quite a smart guy. He mates a lot of females at his territory but rarely takes care of them. They usually fend for themselves and their children. Since he is a lazy guy, he even chases his females away to eat their hard earned food. What a heartless guy he is but the best is yet to come. The finest part of the story is the way he announces his presence after perambulating the entire neighborhood doing nothing. He will look for a tall tree, roof, fence etc, jump from there, landing with a bang on the ground. You dare talk when the guy is around. He will then in all majesty nod to himself, I guess he is saying to himself “wow, even when people don’t like me, I have tried therefore I am too much”. Other small male lizards without the red neck never give a fight; they only wish they will grow to be red neck one day so they can act like the red neck but they hide their intentions along their path to red neckism.
Some readers have already understood the similarities as described in my story but for the sake of clarity I will disintegrate the story. Look at our politicians today, in the real sense, amongst them all who is really working? A man came out to contest for the Governorship ticket of his state, he gets the ticket and therefore he becomes the custodian of the people’s money. He is given billions of tax payer’s money to help disburse, from this money he gets some roads done, some housing units built, some bridges completed, some health centers done, some cultural activities sponsored, some football matches sponsored, some traffic lights here and there, pays some salaries then comes to the Television and Radio to tell you how much he has done for the people. Please Nigerians, whose job is it to do what he has done? Did he not campaign for it? Didn’t he say he will do it? Is he using his personal money to do it? Is he doing you a favor even with your money? I blame Nigerians too. As far as I am concerned he is doing his job and he should keep quiet. It must be sounded clear that it is not a favor. It becomes a favor when he has added his personal money in the course of doing his job and does not require a refund and this must be substantiated e.g. Julius Nyere of Tanzania. What is the craze about this governor is a performer and the other is not. It is their job to use the tax payer’s money judiciously. The era of praise singing must end.
I felt so bad when recently a man who had succeeded in making a prototype of Keke Napep (Motorcycle with three legs covered with a house) was beamed nationally vis-à-vis internationally. Yes, it is a step but will our government encourage such ingenuity by building learning grounds for his like minds? I felt so bad in the sense that the world is getting digitalized and we are here launching extremely expensive archaic railway projects. Countries are enjoying uninterrupted power supply and here we are about to witness an elaborate ceremony in celebration of 6000 megawatts. What is wrong with this people? Don’t they read foreign papers or visit foreign countries? Foreign countries will laugh at some things we publish on air.
The truth is, since no one was voted into power, no one can be held accountable. If they had gone through the rigors of a proper manifesto and a proper debate and then emerge after a thorough scrutiny devoid of ethnicity they would be real men ready to say to the so called god father’s go. Someone recommended the square head because he must remain square to settle the bills. Thank God some god fathers have started visiting the house of the men in white shirt and trouser (prison). I remember those days in school, election was serious business and the best always came out tops. Academic grade was a major factor, charisma, courage, leadership style and off course the manifesto. It was thorough.
I therefore proffer that from now on, Nigerians should not (either directly or indirectly) sing praises of any political representative. Always remember that the money is your own and he isn’t doing you a favor. Nigerians should always inform their representatives that for Napoleon to remain in history books until today he must have dazzled the ancient world with his prowess and that they should go beyond his standard. When will we ever send people to probe the moon let alone the planets?
In an age where bio-fuel is being investigated we are still talking of roads and electricity. An age where Ahminejad, Iranian Leader after an age long war with Iraq is threatening the whole world with nuclear power and discussing disarmament with the Likes of Obama of USA we are still talking of housing units for the masses. No wonder why Obama did not come to Nigeria. What was he coming to talk about? Roads, strikes, oh ok amnesty.
Finally, just as the Lizard parades itself in victory so also the Nigerian politician does but the truth is the Nigerian politician should remember that as the crocodile is larger than the Lizard so also is there one who is higher than him the Nigerian politician and in due time and season all the plunder shall be recovered and Natures real plan shall take the centre stage.
Bulletin written by Ifiokabasi Udo