I have this girl that I love. Things were actually going on fine between the two of us until recently when I met this old school friend of mine. We were actually best of friends back then in the university. We did everything together; we were like two inseparable friends. She had been to my house; I have been to her home. Infact we were the topic for most discussions by friends and pals. But unfortunately we lost contact after school. That was about ten years now. I never forgot about her one day as I still remember thinking about her from time to time. I ve done every thing possible to reconnect with her: including going back to her house and asking friends. All to no avail, the day I got to her home, I got this message “oh...! Bekky with the family have moved without a forwarding address; I am so sorry” from the co_inhabitant of the yard.
As a result of this, I started forgetting about Bekky. Then when I met Ihuoma, we started talking marriage and for crying out loud, we have really gone far. Then the bubble burst. Just a little advert about Bekky on facebook, I became reconnected again with Bekky. I was so so happy and we have started talking marriage as well. I must confess here that I love Bekky more than Ihuoma. Bekky is more a marriage type than Ihuoma is. Needless to point out her one million human characters. Bekky is an idol; every man's dream. But the truth of the matter is this I have done the wine carry on Ihuoma's head.
I don't love her no more; infact I just realised I never did. I have been blindfolded and now I can see very clearly. What do I do because I don't wanna end up marrying someone I do not love and I can go back either. So what do I do?
HMMMMMMMM .......I WONDER WAT WILL BE THE OUTCOME OF UR PLAN TO DUMP IHUOMA AND GO 4BEKKY COS IF I WERE IHUOMA I WILL NEVER TAKE IT EASY WIT U SO FAR U HAVE DONE SOMETHING ON HER HEAD BF THE SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF BEKKY MENNNNN U BETTER THINK TWICE TO AVOID HAD I KNOWN.......
look am in same shoe as you just that mine no wine carrying just that i have made my intention know en to the mother and issue came up ,and this same face book hook me up too ,but i have to check both ladies which one will i be happy with and remember this like the other guy said a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage so friend be very sure ,be very careful, pray, and take time before planing marriage to early to do that with bekky ok just be very care cos i have not decide ma self,the new lady i date 14 yrs ago and other lady of 5yrs old relationship running though i have issues with her family due is manageable just don't want any woman family running ma life and marriage if they cant accept me for who i am not for what i am.........ma broda so easy does it ok ...........talk later
For in much wisdom is much grief,
And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
The above quotation is the dilemma experienced by persons who possess wisdom. It at once serves as a refuge to them from vagrant actions but compels them to make certain sacrifices which looked at from a casual perspective appears to be self-defeating.
Every action attracts consequences as we know except one is a fool who gives no heed to breaking eggs at random for fun. There are considerations which persons who possess wisdom apply in situations such as the peculiar issue our man presents – if he speaks sincerely.
In his case the proper course of action to follow is that action which he already initiated of his own desire through ‘carrying wine’ and presenting same to his in-laws. A question one asks is if he looks upon divorce favourably and embarks on such a course readily and rapidly? Factually, this answer and suggestion will appeal to the mind of one who is conversant with scriptural mores and I hope he is such a one.
If he believes strongly, his dreams lie with his older girlfriend, he should do the right by his wife – o! Scripture sees her as his wife upon obtaining permission and blessings from her parents – the gravity of his situation – which requires a formal divorce to mitigate the consequences that will fall upon his head otherwise since he pulls back from living with both women: a solution that is permissible under certain criteria with the caveat he cannot become an elder nor a deacon in the household of trust.
I refrained from responding earlier because I desired to weigh the merits of his suit as to grant reprieve to both pleas entered earlier and currently: an out-and-out ‘kettle of fish,’ more so since our outlook is his well-being – if he sees that as uppermost in his past and current conduct of engagements.
'Lilypink said: "Ovu, if I remember correctly, aren't you the one who wanted to have a quickie with your sister-in-law, went to get the condoms from ur car .. and was greeted with a standing ovation from you in-laws!"'
The argument against his plea lies in the potentially negative chain of reactions his dissolution of a marriage he freely entered into may generate. His earlier wife may become (almost certainly) distraught and neurotic. This attitude may spill over and infect even her younger sister who as of this moment (from his earlier treatise) appears to have formed a favourable opinion of men vis-à-vis fidelity and devotion about which conclusion our man appears desirous to overthrow perfidiously and which action on his part confirms his earlier disposition in the matter of entrapment designed by his in-laws to prove his genuine intentions.
Therefore it is his choice to seek for and pursue a divorce and contract another marriage or to work at establishing a foundation for his current family (if events have not overtaken issues), in prayer seeking then counsel of the Eternal Father over all and walking with His instructions.
An example: Jacob did not love Leah but was blessed in his house on her account. He suffered a curse on account of his peculiarly singular desire to marry Rachel. To elaborate, the secular head of his progeny – Judah - came from Leah’s womb. The spiritual head of his progeny – Levi – in like manner came from Leah’s womb. On the contrary, from Rachel’s womb through Joseph, his progeny entered into slavery and anguish looking at matters from a worst case scenario.
When Yahweh saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.
Jacob answered Laban, "I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. But if you find anyone who has your mighty ones, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it." Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the mighty ones.
Then they journeyed from Bethel. And when there was but a little distance to go to Ephrath, Rachel labored in childbirth, and she had hard labor. Now it came to pass, when she was in hard labor, that the midwife said to her, "Do not fear; you will have this son also." And so it was, as her being was departing (for she died), that she called his name Ben-Oni; but his father called him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem).