ADVICE NEEDED: TWO GIRLS IN MY LIFE
I have this girl that I love. Things were actually going on fine between the two of us until recently when I met this old school friend of mine. We were actually best of friends back then in the university. We did everything together; we were like two inseparable friends. She had been to my house; I have been to her home. Infact we were the topic for most discussions by friends and pals. But unfortunately we lost contact after school. That was about ten years now. I never forgot about her one day as I still remember thinking about her from time to time. I ve done every thing possible to reconnect with her: including going back to her house and asking friends. All to no avail, the day I got to her home, I got this message “oh...! Bekky with the family have moved without a forwarding address; I am so sorry” from the co_inhabitant of the yard.
As a result of this, I started forgetting about Bekky. Then when I met Ihuoma, we started talking marriage and for crying out loud, we have really gone far. Then the bubble burst. Just a little advert about Bekky on facebook, I became reconnected again with Bekky. I was so so happy and we have started talking marriage as well. I must confess here that I love Bekky more than Ihuoma. Bekky is more a marriage type than Ihuoma is. Needless to point out her one million human characters. Bekky is an idol; every man's dream. But the truth of the matter is this I have done the wine carry on Ihuoma's head.
I don't love her no more; infact I just realised I never did. I have been blindfolded and now I can see very clearly. What do I do because I don't wanna end up marrying someone I do not love and I can go back either. So what do I do?
As a result of this, I started forgetting about Bekky. Then when I met Ihuoma, we started talking marriage and for crying out loud, we have really gone far. Then the bubble burst. Just a little advert about Bekky on facebook, I became reconnected again with Bekky. I was so so happy and we have started talking marriage as well. I must confess here that I love Bekky more than Ihuoma. Bekky is more a marriage type than Ihuoma is. Needless to point out her one million human characters. Bekky is an idol; every man's dream. But the truth of the matter is this I have done the wine carry on Ihuoma's head.
I don't love her no more; infact I just realised I never did. I have been blindfolded and now I can see very clearly. What do I do because I don't wanna end up marrying someone I do not love and I can go back either. So what do I do?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by M. dominic (nsc) on
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Follow your HEART man...
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Permalink Reply by Lilypink on
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Ovu, if I remember correctly, aren't you the one who wanted to have a quickie with your sister-in-law, went to get the condoms from ur car .. and was greeted with a standing ovation from you in-laws!
So just to be clear....Ilhuoma is your fiance that you are virtually married to and you are now in two minds ..well that's understandable ...but it is easy to fall in love with an attractive person and you will meet them continually throughout your marriage ...will you then keep changing your mind about your existing partner as not being good enough?
If you know Bekky is right for you then it's a careful choice you need to make ....and STICK TO IT!
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Permalink Reply by Pete Rock on
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There is nothing u can do again my friend, don't 4get u live in africa & not in Europe. so stick to ur african culture. Were u forced by anyone to do the wine carring rites on Ihuoma? Did anyone put a gun in ur head and say u must do that or u got ur brain blown off?
Doing the wine carrying ceremony is tantermount to anouncing to everyone that she is ur married wife. So if u turn her down after that then u destroy her life, because we are in africa not in europe. And remember what they say about a woman scorned. Nobody in this forum will come to ur rescue when the hit is on. Bear that in ur mind.
My advice to u is to stick to ur wife & love her like u used to, I'm sure with time u will be successful. I'm sure u do love her, if not u won't go to the extent of the wine carrying ceremony. It's only because the becky woman now showed up. You are not thinking with ur real brain right now, but with ur d***-brain. Forget about Becky, she is just a mirage. You are in 4 the real thing. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by lucy berrinyo on
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Men go 4 ur Bekky! what are u waiting for. The true is nobody is gonna leave with u in that marriage so better go 4 the one ur heart beat for. Forget abt the wine carrying stuff, they are all formalities we need to go through to show to the world that we are capable. It doesnot matter its ur heart and what u feel and watch out let it be reciprocal.
By the way they say 'He that closes his eyes at sunshine will surely open them at moonlight to see clearly'.
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Permalink Reply by xu xiaonan on -
I think you should choose that you love
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Baby girl, i cant wear Ihuoma's shoes neither she wears mine ok. That is life and we need to follow our heart, u think i cant dop a guy whom am engage with for the one i love. girl shine ur eye oh na third millium be this !!!!!!!!!!!!what a man can do a woman can do it twice.
Bridget Nzeribe said:what if you were in Ihuoma's shoes,what will you do?
lucy berrinyo said:Men go 4 ur Bekky! what are u waiting for. The true is nobody is gonna leave with u in that marriage so better go 4 the one ur heart beat for. Forget abt the wine carrying stuff, they are all formalities we need to go through to show to the world that we are capable. It doesnot matter its ur heart and what u feel and watch out let it be reciprocal.
By the way they say 'He that closes his eyes at sunshine will surely open them at moonlight to see clearly'.
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Permalink Reply by Dee on
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Your right you never loved her, if you were welling to sleep with her sister. let this woman go (Ihuoma) and find her happiness because it obvious it not with you.
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Permalink Reply by Idowu AbdurRasheed on
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The truth is that you haven't said "all" about this issue.
Also,I want you to know that there are many things in this life that you just have to sacrifice,just as a saying that "Wealth in this world is what we give up and not what we take up" Now,it's left to you to follow the dictate of your heart!
BUT,KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT WE DO,OUR HEART WOULD ALWAYS TELL US THE TRUTH ABOUT THE DECISIONS WE TAKE OR ARE ABOUT TAKING!
Please think twice for all that glitters are not gold!
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Permalink Reply by Okafor Chukwurah Nicholas on
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MY FRIEND, YOU MUST HAVE SLEPT WITH THOSE TWO GIRLS I GUESS. MAKE SURE THE CHARACTERS THAT YOU ARE NOW TALKING ABOUT IN THIS LADY (BEKKY) IS NOT IN YOUR DESIRE BUT CONTRARY TO GOD'S OWN VIEW.TIME WILL TELL IF WHAT YOU DESIRE IS POSITIVE. FOR THE OTHER LADY, YOU REALLY NEED TO BEG FOR HER FORGIVENESS REALLY WELL.
BEKKY YOU SAID IS AN IDOL! MEN, HAVE YOU INQUIRE ABOUT HER PAST SINCE YOU LOST CONTACT? YOU CAN MAKE YOU MARRIAGE WITH IHUOMA WORK AGAIN AND VERY WELL.
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Permalink Reply by Abraham Iriabe on
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If you would ever listen to voice of reason, I'd tell you to continue with your marriage rites and settle down with Ihuoma. Your problem is simply infatuation and indecision. It's only fools that doesn't know what they've got until they lose it.
Let me ask you a question; if you were Ihuoma, what would you do when told that some person from the blues will be replacing you as a mate after going this far? Why has Bekky not got herself a prospect from wherever she had been all these TEN YEARS? Be wise my brother and do the right thing. I speak to you as somebody who had gone through similar experience and was helped to make the right decision for which I'm happy for today because of the attendant benefits resulting from the decision I made.
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Permalink Reply by Chinyere Miriam Okigbo on
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I feel very sorry for Ihuoma.If this guy marries her,it is going to be out of pity and she will not enjoy the marriage.Men are simply nuts.They all do it.It is just a pity that they have done the wine carrying.Young man you said you love this Ihuoma girl.I beg you to try and love her again.Give her your time and attention for three months and none to the other girl.If your heart still goes for the other girl,then leave Ihuoma for good.Her own will locate her.
@Bridget it is better to have a broken heart for a moment than for a life time.It happened to a friend of mine and now she is married to a man much more better than the one who left her.I pray that the same happens in this case.
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Permalink Reply by obi amaefule on
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i like dis..............
Lilypink said:Ovu, if I remember correctly, aren't you the one who wanted to have a quickie with your sister-in-law, went to get the condoms from ur car .. and was greeted with a standing ovation from you in-laws!
So just to be clear....Ilhuoma is your fiance that you are virtually married to and you are now in two minds ..well that's understandable ...but it is easy to fall in love with an attractive person and you will meet them continually throughout your marriage ...will you then keep changing your mind about your existing partner as not being good enough?
If you know Bekky is right for you then it's a careful choice you need to make ....and STICK TO IT!
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