Using TMT In Dating and Courtship Relationships

One of the major challenges faced by dating and courtship partners is how to date and court appropriately.
In an era where dating has been taken as a licence for sexual intimacy, it is an uphill task convincing young single and single adults that they should keep sex out of their dating and courtship relationships. The few relationship experts and coaches who have been working and pushing for the young people to learn that by following certain proven
principles and practices, they could have joy in their relationships are having a hard time impressing the young single adults with idea of total abstinence from sexual intimacies before marriage. Today as I was thinking about strategies to use in delivering this important success tip for those getting involved in dating and courtship

relationships I received this inspiration. I just thought about sharing it first with my associates on this blog.

TMT is acronym for Time Management Techniques. The TMT advocated here is not the usual straight-jacket time management that we know. It is the TMT I learnt from my coach, Stephen Pierce. He taught me that the best way to manage time is to do so by “what is worth it and what I value”. Stephen noted that if we value something, a project, a person, we naturally like to spend our time on those things, projects and persons.

The questions now are:

  • Do we value a peaceful, loving, growing and joyful relationship with the man or woman with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives?
  • Is the life we want to live with our spouse worth preparing, working and doing every needful thing to establish it?
  • Is our envisaged, dreamed or imagined marriage relationship worth sacrificing for?

Stephen went on to teach that wealthy people’s dictum is “is it worth it” while poor people’s dictums are numerous and include: “‘it is a hard thing to do’, ‘it is an impossible thing to do’, ‘I don’t have enough time to do all that’, etc.”

What I understand from Stephen’s ideas here is that the dominant influence in our conduct with dating or courtship partners should be where we think the relationship is destined for. If your focus is a future of bliss and happiness and growth in your relationship, then that’s what should influence how you behave right now. I make bold to state that an ounce of premarital sexual intimacy would damage the foundation of your relationship. It would erode the pillars of trust, integrity and mutual respect. These are foundational pillars in any marriage relationship that can ensure that you can survive the bomb blast that happen in marriage relationships quite
often. Come to think of it, your target should not be to have your marriage survive. I would like you to copy my own target which is to have my marriage relationship thrive.

The challenge of maintaining sex-free premarital relationships such as dating, courtship and engagement is enormous. I appreciate this every bit. I was once a boy. However, by knowledge, by advance decision, it is possible.

I dated and courted my wife for 2 years. In this period by advance decision, we did not have any sexual relationship until our wedding. So, it is possible. One other thing that helped us was that in those days, we were taking a religious class on “Preparing for Eternal Marriage”. This is a class run for young single adults by the Institute of Religion of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ( This course is now called “Eternal Marriage” . It is obtainable at all the Institute of Religion centres of the Church. Pardon me for this rather too much religious intrusion here.

The objective of this blog is to provide for you, all the resources that helped me in my early life so that you can draw from them. This happens to be one of them. It is available to members and non-members of the Church alike. No fees and no obligations.

Another important thing Stephen Pierce taught me which I feel could help young people here is what we are focusing on. He noted that people are rich or poor as a result of what they are focusing on. I can also draw a connection here in respect of the difficulties of maintaining sexual purity.

If in your relationship with the opposite sex, you are focusing on the physical or other wrong reasons for marrying, then you are bound to make the terrible mistake of engaging in premarital sex. But if you are focusing on eternal dimension of marriage, joyful relationship, peace of mind and happy married life, then you have a chance of taking all necessary action to keep on the right track.

What do you look forward to in your relationship? Peace, joy, love and success? If so, you have to do what is needful to achieve them.

Keep working on your desires that are good.


Visit my blog for more on the issue of Foundation for Joyful Relationships. For personal contact email me

Views: 78


You need to be a member of Vanguard Online Community to add comments!

Join Vanguard Online Community

Forum Categories

© 2021   Created by Vanguard Media Ltd.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service