The unmarried life is, undeniable, full of the pains and gains however God didn’t design the waiting period to be a period of pain neither He is unaware of some harrowing experiences the unmarried go through in their quest for a suitable helpmate. Apparently God designed spinsterhood/bachelorhood as a necessary transition for the sacred institution before the marriage.


It of a serious an indispensable thing that God attach a serious importance to marriage He performed the first marriage in Eden and Jesus Christ sanctioned marriage by being present at a wedding in Cana of Galilee “…Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female” so God is aware of the pains and has also ordained the gains.



Emotional Pains. These comes in form of loneliness, feeling of worthlessness, self pity, insecurity, depression, urge for intimacy with the opposite sex and temptation to indulge in immorality above all loneliness seems to be the root from which others shoot out. A life of loneliness paves way to depression that leads to a feeling of worthlessness often times financial pains also contribute to the emotional headaches of singles.


Psychological Pains. They are unleashing by pressure and stigma that the society lays on singles. There is even a greater type of pain it is the pain of broken courtship often time intending couples may discover along the line that they weren’t compatible all signs indicate that they are not fit for each other and should break off the relationship. The period spent in courtship create much emotional bonding between both parties, which make splitting to hard and impossible but a broken courtship is better then a broken marriage.


Financial Pains. Finances plays an indispensable role in the fulfillment of life’s ambition, the unmarried seeks seek monetary means to acquire property needed for a smooth married life but the unmarried tends to blame the scarcity on their lack of a “helpmate”.



It’s a free period of life that enables the man or woman to pursue and achieve excellence in vital areas of life it’s the time to contemplate and establish a career draw a mental portrait for a fulfilling future and strive to actualize it. It is a time to search and acquire spiritual knowledge, develop one’s emotional and psychological faculties and acquire basic property for hitch-free living preparation is the mother of celebration. Preparation is expected in at least five areas:


PHYSICAL if you’re a man get a good apartment, if you’re a woman gets necessary cooking utensils learn how to cook good meals and take good care of yourself and your health.


FINANCIALLY you need money, please. So get a good job. It’s amazing to see some singles dabble into marriage unprepared. They have neither savings nor regular income after marriage such people becomes liability to their spouses and the church.


MENTALLY deal with erroneous beliefs about marriage through God’s unfailing wisdom by going for pre-marital counseling, read helpful books and family magazine.


SPIRITTUAL one of the thing or better still the benefit of single life is that it helps one in serving God without distractions, the quality of your spiritual life will determine the general tone of your life. Spend much time in silence in and mediating on God’s word thanking Him for what He has done for you in your life.


EMOTIONALLY know how to forgive and forget, generous and selfless every man wants an asset for a wife; so become one live to learn not just to earn.Marriage Success Secrets

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Comment by femi leke on January 24, 2011 at 2:17pm

Good job, God bless you. 

Just a few addition : the bible used the word "help meet" (Gen 2:20) not helpmate .the two words are not the same and it is very important not to mix them up. Also I would rather not use the word PAIN when talking about singleness because of its negative connotation. (i mean the word pain)

It can be easily misinterpreted by people to see that stage (pre-marital singleness) that every person will pass trough one time or other as a curse rather than accepting that phase of life , thank God and believe Him to take them to the next level which is marriage.

Marriage is good but singleness is a stage that precedes marriage and God wants us to make the best of it to equip ourselves for marriage and for those who are experiencing challenges of singleness after marriage , the help of God will locate them to restore them in Jesus name   

Once again i really appreciate the time you invested into this and pray for more grace in Jesus name .       

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