The Law of Reciprocity is perhaps the most powerful and vital of all human
motivators. Your regular use of it will bring you opportunities that you cannot
now envision. This principle says, “If you perform a duty for someone, that someone
will want to perform a duty for you. He or she would want to reciprocate in
some way so that he or she does not feel indebted.”
Majority of human beings would naturally like to be fair in
their dealings with other people. As soon as someone does something pleasant
for a person, that individual feels an obligation to give back, to pay the
person back one way or the other. The immediate
result of a favor or benevolence is to unbalance the equation of equality
between the giver and the receiver. In consequence, recipients always look for
ways to restore equilibrium. They look for a way to return the good deed by
doing something good for you also.
Think about the experiences you have had in the past.
When you take a friend out for lunch or other outings and you pay the
bill, he or she would like to invite you out the next time. If you host a
friend in your home for dinner, he or she will feel obliged to inviting you
over at some other time to his or her own home.
Perhaps, you can remember the last time you send or received Christmas
or birthday cards. The overwhelming
feeling for all parties is to reciprocate even when you are not all well
acquainted with each other.
Many relationship problems emanate from the fact that this law is either not
recognized or not practiced. It is associated
to the law of retributive justice or karma as it is known in the esoteric
schools. Do unto others as you would have
done unto you. Imagine how a
relationship would flow sweetly and produce fulfillment for all concerned if
people would give the love and affection they are expecting from their
spouses. Think about your need for kind
words and therefore the need to speak kindly to your partner. We all wish we are more trusted by our
partners, how about trusting our partners and keep it so until we are
disappointed. People in relationships
always expect that the other party is friendlier in their attitude towards them. How about taking deliberate steps to be
friendly yourself towards the other party.
The list and opportunities are endless. The
way to go is to ask yourself, what would I have done to me in this
relationship? What would I like to get from this relationship? Then proceed to do those things you would
want done to you and start giving those things you would want to get. In due course, by the immutable laws of
nature, everything you have done and given would be returned to you many fold.
This law is infallible. Think about those
times when you have smiled at a stranger and remember what happened. They usually always smile back. You can even experiment on this at home with
your spouse or partner. Alternate
between smiling and frowning and see what you get from your wife,
children. If you are in a dating or
courtship relationship, try practicing this when you meet for an outing.
And when you are not getting what you want from or in a relationship, why not sit
down and review what you are giving or investing. Attitude is important also. When you do or give, it should be according to
the law – unconditionally. There should
be no conditions attached. You should
give because it is the right thing to do.
This should be separated from the ensnaring gifts of men and women in
skewed up relationships. Nevertheless,
they still usually lead you to get what you want, though it may be dubious.
When you arrange your life in agreement with the laws of nature or God, you will at
all times be amazed at the rapidity at which good things start to turn out for
The Law of Reciprocity in human associations is one of the most potent principles you will ever gain knowledge of.