DIS WEDIN RING – 4
Dis wedin ring
no bi mai toro
weda or weda
no bi mai toro
marej no bi bai fos
The above is the fourth stanza of one of my poems written in Naija Pidgin with the same title with this article. It speaks of the level of levity some of us attach to the wedding ring which we swore to wear till death do us part with our ‘’wedded” wives. After wedding, pastors find it pretty difficult making follow up on the level of bliss being enjoyed by husbands and wives whom they had wedded because it would amount to infringing on their privacy. Also, whenever a pastor shows so much interest in this area, he could be accused of having anoda tin fo maind. We had read stories of how some pastors or men of God were tempted to go out of their ways to want to tek ova di sem pesin we dem wed to di man.
All the same, men are generally lazy in wearing the wedding ring for reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to draiv rof or ple ewe. What then are the reasons for this common habit in most men?
The feeling of being in-charge makes most men to wont to say na ring go bring fud fo mai tebul? In their usual selfish-protective attention men give to their wives, they would always want to monitor them to ensure that they never fail to put on their rings. Dia kaind of jelosi na to kil eni won we won trai eni nonsens. The importance of the ring to the union of a husband and the wife cannot be overemphasized. I can’t imagine a marriage without something to show like the olmaiti wedin ring. Since the woman adorns it much more than the man, and has even gone ahead to fashonlaiz and fonkifai it, why should anyone complain? Why should men worry
themselves whenever they see their wives put on difren kain rings in the name of fashion?
As a man who rarely wears his wedding ring, do you have any moral justification of asking your wife why she doesn’t wear her’s? On the day of your wedding, you said “I do” and she responded in like manner. The only thing that may not have been mentioned, was whether
both of you must compulsorily wear the same ring at all times. It may not also have been mentioned that, should there be a reason for a change of the ring, the husband and the wife must jointly agree to buy a new one which must match.
There was this argument between a friend and I as to who; between the man and the woman gives more respect to the wedding ring. I stoutly defended the woman because tru tru dem get lov fo ring pas man but one
of my friend stated that if women truly respects the ring, they wouldn’t go
after married men. What a generalisation? I made him to understand that his wide allegation should only be associated with some single ladies. His argument was that, whenever a man sees a ring on the left ring finger of a woman, he is usually very scared not to make any move whatsoever except na di wuman jos won tek im own han tosh ink.
Paraphrased hereunder, is the argument between my friend and I:
lMi: Wetin yu de tok? (What have you just said?)
Mai Frend: Fo mata laik dis, men no de fol dia han laik dat! (In matters like this, men would
Mi: Bot e de hapun abi? (But it does happen?).
Mai Frend: Ivun wit mai ring fo mai han, gels de tel mi se e no min. Dat na wetin? (Even with
my wedding ring on, ladies usually say it makes no difference).
Mi: Wot ebaut yeye men we de du laik dat? (font-family:"Palatino Linotype","serif""">How about useless men who act in like manner?)
Mai Frend: Yu se yeye men abi? Na olmost ol gels de du am. Dem no fear ring sam sam. (You just
said useless men. In the case of ladies, almost all of them are guilty. They have no fear/respect for the wedding
ring worn by any man).
Even though this article was written with the intention of defending the woman, it appears to have brought up more issues to nail them. Bot mek wi luk am togeda (let’s jointly look at it all over again). Is the above not true of most of our single girls and ladies? Imagine a girl so bold to date men of the age of her father and grand fathers. I know someone would be saying “wetin di man de faind fo gel we bi im pikin ej?”
The Minister of Information and Communication; Professor Dora Akunyili speaks of re-branding especially from the point of view of attracting investors to our potentially great country bot wok plenti fo moral ribrandin. Imagine a man dropping his wife and children at the church on a Sunday with the excuse of travelling out of town, only for him to branch off into the embrace
of a woman fo shot taim, (short rest) - (wit im ring fo han). Haba! Men una wiked (Men are wicked).
Wi get konfam an on-konfam ring
Join us on this burning issue next week; “Dis Wedin Ring – 5”