DIS WEDIN RING – 3


Bai


Edwin Eriata Oibhabor



Dis wedin ring


we tai mi daun fo


dis ples we no bi ples


wie ah de luk ayanya


fo insaid ogbolo



The entire compound gathered at PP’s place that night to douse the fire that eventually
washed away their marriage but to no avail. Like one suffering from HT (i.e. hom trobul), the wife packed
out that night to join the young man who was once an errand boy to the family.
Yet to get a job; this boy was ready to give her better love. What happened to
the wedding ring? I won’t forget that huge societal crowd that graced the
occasion at their wedding where they beamed smiles to the heavens in thanks to
God for making it possible for them to say “I do, I do” without knowing its
full import.



Na so marej bifont-family:" ? This was exactly the question a young lady that recently got married asked me. Apparently, she needed counsel on how to cope with her husband who was beginning to show her his true colour. My answer to her was “yes na so marej bi”. I added that she was only a month into her marriage with a whole lot of time to study and understand her real man. And that, with time, wota go tek im levul. She laughed and asked again, na so marej bi? I replied na smol smol ewa go don. Wetin
bi na smol smol ewa go don
, she asked. I made her to understand that one cannot make omelette without breaking eggs. She replied by asking; wetin bring omilet an eg fo dis mata? It immediately occurred to me that it was inappropriate to have used big oyibo to tek esplen pidgin. Even in normal simple English, it has never served the purpose for one to use big big grama to explen jos won big grama. You confuse the entire matter. So, what exactly are we saying by the phrase/sentence: na smol smol ewa go don?



Literal meaning: In preparing the bean seed for a meal, it takes
some time for it to get ready for consumption but it will surely be.


Deeper meaning: Perseverance should be our watch word.


After giving her the above explanation in simple pidgin, she thanked me and walked away calmly.


Today, she is 2 years into her marriage with a bouncing baby boy. The last time we met, she said “na nau ah no wetin yu de yan” (I now appreciate your words of advice).



When I heard the story of how Peter and her wife’s marriage crashed, I became more worried about
the place of the wedding ring in the consummation of relationships in our
world. I began to rationalise the reasons behind the actions or inactions of
women which sum up to the desecration of the wedding ring. Does wearing of
multicoloured and multiple rings give those that wear them peace? Is it just
for fashion? But Peter’s wife never changed her ring to anything different from
what was put on her left ring finger on her wedding day. Why should one now
begin to insinuate that women in the habit of wearing plenti rings should not be trusted? Mai maind jos de go evriwie without any concrete thing to hold on
to.


If we say till death do us part, we should henceforth add that, “na
onli dis ring na im wi go wie
. God bless awa marej, amen”. Only by so doing that more of our women would know that wedin ring no bi fashion.
The real wedding ring is like a watch dog keeping an eye on its wearers. If
Peter’s wife could do what she did to her husband in the same compound with a hanger on, with her ring on, would she have done worse with multiple rings covering the real ring? Di mata taya mi!


The above poem is the third stanza of one of my poems from my unpublished koleshon of puem dem fo Naija Pidgin titled “Dis wedin ring”. It speaks of a woman who considers her wedding ring as a ring of bondage. She concluded by saying she was in deep problem (insaid ogbolo). Conscious of the reality of the above, my candid opinion is that, women in this situation should detract from the things that would reduce the value of the wedding ring. They are the hub on which the wheel of any marriage rotates. If you hadn’t the opportunity of reading the serial, “From 2010 Wetin De?, then you missed a treasure.


Men are a real problem. Their actions/inactions also contribute to why most women do what they
do with their rings on but as we say, two wrongs can’t make a right. Wetin
men de du sef?



Join us in Wedin Ring – 4 (next week).






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