DIS WEDIN RING
Dis wedin ring
we dem fos fo mai han
we mai han no wont
ah jos de fos mai sef
fo dis wedin ring
The above poetic lines speak volume of an imported culture. The culture of wearing a wedding ring by the bride and groom on a wedding day and till death do them part, is borrowed from western cultures. The ring is popularly worn on the left ring finger said to have a special vein “believed to be directly connected to the heart, a symbol of love”. The singular reason for wearing the ring is to recognise the wearers as married. Wedding rings are in different make of gold, silver etc. While it epitomises love, recognition, respect, freedom, joy and progress for some, to others, it is complete burden. For some who adorn the ring, they automatically find themselves moving from freedom into bondage or slavery just like from frai pan to faya. For this and many others, the ring is losing its pride of place fo awa oun system.
The last time I attended a wedding ceremony; I looked searchingly into the eyes of the couple and was not deceived by the plastic smiles that beamed on their faces. I am not unaware of the fact that on such auspicious occasions, many thoughts would be running in the heads of the couple. I also know that may be no bi eviritin dem tek du marej na im dem don pay. And it’s also true that not all marriages were genuinely entered into because bai fos marej plenti. All the same, once we hear “take this ring as the sign of my love” and “till death do us part”, wi no se na signed, sealed and delivered and hence, the groom and the bride are expected to remain as one til Baba God kol eni won of dem. During this time, parties to the marriage are required to be of good cheer, caring, loving and live as one. But from this day, tori de chenj bikos the bride and the groom will now begin to know themselves much more intimately than ever before. Also, dem go no se boi frend an gel frend no bi di sem tin wit hosband an waif. The man would be doing so many things with impunity bikos e don bi oga. The woman would keep trying to be a good wife by accommodating all the yeye tins wen oga de du but e get as e go be monki go go maket e no go riton. At this stage, the woman’s patience would have been running over and the place of the wedding ring would be endangered. You will begin to experience things like;
§ The woman wears her ring on the wrong finger until she is reminded. (knowingly or unknowingly)
§ The woman repeatedly forgets her ring at home in one of her hand bags. (knowingly or unknowingly)
§ The woman wears her wedding ring if she so desires depending on the occasion.
Although not a full proof antidote against randy men, the wedding ring helps women from being disturbed by men wen dia ai no de graund. It is common for most men to look at the ring finger of a woman to ascertain if married or not just to guide his comments/discussions with the woman. With the ring on, the man would exercise restrain/caution mek im maut no draiv rof. Men hardly wear the ring but have very high regard for women that tenaciously wear theirs. On the issue of ring wearing, women deserve all our commendation. They even show off with it as if to tell others who are yet to marry that dem no de bai am fo maket.
Notwithstanding, women are more into different habits that tend to give the ring a bad image. If a woman wears her wedding ring only once in week what message is she sending to the public; ah mari ah no mari? If a woman takes off her ring as she is about to enter a particular place/ceremony etc what message is she sending; e bi laik se ah fri fo nau?
Of the many negative things most women are doing to the wedding ring, the most annoying one is fashonalaizin it. There is a growing habit in women of fashion to wear different ring types and colours to match up with shoes, hand bags, ear rings they wear etc. By this development, every ring becomes a wedding ring so long as it is worn on the left ring finger and it matches with whatever the woman adorns in terms of colour. I don’t know how you feel about this but only the wedding ring blessed on one’s wedding day should be worn by the bride and the groom. Should they have reason to make a change, it should be jointly agreed by both of them.
It is common knowledge that fashion crazy ladies are rubbishing the dignity the wedding ring commands. I have come across group of ladies who are in the habit of wearing different rings in different colours in the name of fashion to confuse people from properly placing them in terms of marital status. The next time you attend any function, take a look at women that adorn all types of rings that subsumes the supposed wedding ring. Like birds of the same feather, they flock together. Na so e bi: woman dem wen de wie difren difren ring de waka togeda. Hardly would you differentiate between the married woman and the unmarried woman, to the pleasure of the woman wit plenti rings.
Men must wake up from their slumber to talk sense into the heads of their wives whose actions portend disrespect for the Reverend Father/Pastor/Man of God that placed that ring on her finger. Men should be bold enough to tell their wives of the need to show good example to their daughters in respect to the wearing of wedding rings. otherwise, their children may wear their own wedding ring only on the day of their wedding. Afta dat day, dem go jos trowe am.
Mai broda if yo waif wear rings of different types every day in the name of fashion, you better watch it bikos wedin ring no bi fashon. Na sirios mata.
Oribhabor is a member of ANA and resides in Abuja.