- "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."

 

- "Special skills: Thyping."

 

- "I have a bachelorette degree in computers."

 

- "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."

 

- "I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."

 

- "Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

 

- "Language skills: Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business."

 

- "Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date."

 

- "My salary requirement is $34 per year."

 

- "I realize that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment."

 

 

Just 4 Laffs.

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