When Angela’s first marriage broke, she was only 29 with two young children to take care of. “I was 22 when I got married,” she said, “and my husband was a couple of years older. When I had my first child at barely 23, it was clear we wanted different things from life. He wanted a submissive wife in spite of the fact that I was an industrial nurse, but I wanted a husband who could also be my friend. By the time I had our second child, I was no longer happy in the marriage. I didn’t take the decision to divorce my first husband lightly but I had to choose between staying in a marriage that was making me unhappy, and leaving while I was still young to make a quality life for myself.
“My second marriage lasted 14 years and our only child was born after a year of our getting married. We were happy for the first eight years, but he was always away on a business, and had just discovered the joy of playing golf—so most of his spare time went into his new found game. “Naturally, this caused a lot of stress between us. I got used to making all the family’s decisions and became resentful when I had to handle masculine tasks like reconstruction of damaged portions of the house or looking for the right artisans besides doing most of the housework.In short,
I realized I was smack in the middle of problems I ran away from in my first marriage. By the time I was approaching 40, I knew my second marriage was over in all, but name. It was a sad reality. I should have learnt from my first marriage not to marry a man so similar to my first husband. It was actually a relief when he started an affair and admitted he would rather set up home with the other woman. Fundamentally, I think I’m too independent to settle for the facade of a marriage where the husband would rather be with someone else.
“I started going out with men after my divorce and even had a relationship that lasted for eight years— some marriages today don’t even last half..read more