A friend who is the only son has 2 sons from his wife-abt 5 and 3yr old-but the wife started taking contraceptives at the urging of her family without the man's knowledge and consent. When the man discovered,he reported to families. The family of the wife-esp her elderly sisters-sided her,that she's not a baby making machine. Now my friend sees this as a painful insult bcos he's the only son and his inlaws thinks he needs children that lacks in his parental home. They probably feel my friend and his parents are wealthy and not giving them enough financial help. What do u think is the solution to this problem? My friend is considering seperation from his nagging,unsupportive wife backed by her family,and who even insults his own parents. I tried to disuade him from divorce and perhaps,marrying another.

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To start with,Your friend was never in control of that marriage.A wife has no right to take contraceptive without the husband's knowledge.His wife seems to be too loyal to her family more than her husband.The man has a choice to make,It is either he stamp his authority and marry his wife without the control of his inlaws or his marriage might be in danger.Divorce with those 2 kids is not a good idea,Meanwhile all these talk of being the only son and needing so many children is just out dated.What if she failed to conceive again,will he marry a 2nd wife? Lucky he has 2 sons,what if they were girls? Let him sort out his marriage.
I think Chris is very right may be your friend is not in control at the initial stage or may be your friend is a kind of man that prostrate to have his way, he may have opened a loop h*** which the wife is using as a weapon to usurp power on him. Please MEN when it comes to the issue of love making (SEX) be in control don't trade your headship for one of those things. Men be aware that you must be incharge (control) even when you're both in serious relationship leading to marriage. Men in the house sorry if you're hurt o.
This matter can be resolved through dialogue.  The man should first of all win the wife back from the clutches of her parents by making her realize she is married and that her loyalty is first to her husband before anyone else.  I believe this will work out.  But where the woman admantly refuses to see reasons to change, he can take some other far reaching measures  to stamp his authority as the head of the family.
Chris I agee with you but he should first try dialogue.  Other measures can be used if dialogue fails.

chris Ndu said:
To start with,Your friend was never in control of that marriage.A wife has no right to take contraceptive without the husband's knowledge.His wife seems to be too loyal to her family more than her husband.The man has a choice to make,It is either he stamp his authority and marry his wife without the control of his inlaws or his marriage might be in danger.Divorce with those 2 kids is not a good idea,Meanwhile all these talk of being the only son and needing so many children is just out dated.What if she failed to conceive again,will he marry a 2nd wife? Lucky he has 2 sons,what if they were girls? Let him sort out his marriage.
Helen we are all mature adults in the house, what you have said is the raw truth but I want to add that a man should also try to be human while trying to be in control of sex.  The woman's feelings should also be considered to avoid being a bully.

Helyn Oluwafisayomi said:
I think Chris is very right may be your friend is not in control at the initial stage or may be your friend is a kind of man that prostrate to have his way, he may have opened a loop h*** which the wife is using as a weapon to usurp power on him. Please MEN when it comes to the issue of love making (SEX) be in control don't trade your headship for one of those things. Men be aware that you must be incharge (control) even when you're both in serious relationship leading to marriage. Men in the house sorry if you're hurt o.
Well the wife is not being fathful and truthful to her husband, dut divoice is not in the best interest of both. Both should sit down and dicuss how they wish to model their family for their sake. On the part of the wife she should apologise to the man and should not involve her family members in her marital affairs.
By so doing, she would have accepted the fact that she wants to build a family of her own deviod of family interference.

Okolobah Efe Michael said:
Well the wife is not being fathful and truthful to her husband, dut divoice is not in the best interest of both. Both should sit down and dicuss how they wish to model their family for their sake. On the part of the wife she should apologise to the man and should not involve her family members in her marital affairs.
Thank u all for the great inputs! My friend's family appears to be the very cool and gentle type-his only and senior sister,mum and dad-but my friend is really not taking this stuff simple. He believes the situation is dangerous. To me, is like the wife's interest in the marriage is to profit her family-her siblings,dad and mum-but it appears she's not getting her way,and I think that's the problem.
That's true bro!

Charles Ugochukwu Okere said:
Chris I agee with you but he should first try dialogue.  Other measures can be used if dialogue fails.

chris Ndu said:
To start with,Your friend was never in control of that marriage.A wife has no right to take contraceptive without the husband's knowledge.His wife seems to be too loyal to her family more than her husband.The man has a choice to make,It is either he stamp his authority and marry his wife without the control of his inlaws or his marriage might be in danger.Divorce with those 2 kids is not a good idea,Meanwhile all these talk of being the only son and needing so many children is just out dated.What if she failed to conceive again,will he marry a 2nd wife? Lucky he has 2 sons,what if they were girls? Let him sort out his marriage.
If an order wil b given to me to grade!, i wil say dat Mr Chris Ndu has d pass mark here, y wldnt two kids b enough esp boys, the man shld thank his Chi 4 dat and nt think of divorce bcos he may nt b fortunate when it happens, and divorce weda he is wise or nt wil affect d children he has alrdy...but i'm nt askin d woman to disobey his husband reda shld b unda his man and take permit b4 she engage in2 anytin..
To draw conclusion here, i suggest dat both d man and his wife shld "THINK TWICE B4 TAKIN ACTIONs"( ie divorce), 4 d sake of dea kids. Tanx.
U av said right Lyna. 2 male kids are ok. But how ugly it looks dat such decision is coming from the wife and her family. Isn't dat a dangerous trend? Things really have to be corrected like u all have said.
In the case she is not a marriage material.  She and her family are selfish.  The man should defend himself,

Mavos said:
Thank u all for the great inputs! My friend's family appears to be the very cool and gentle type-his only and senior sister,mum and dad-but my friend is really not taking this stuff simple. He believes the situation is dangerous. To me, is like the wife's interest in the marriage is to profit her family-her siblings,dad and mum-but it appears she's not getting her way,and I think that's the problem.

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