THis is the recent experience i had with  a guy who came to me with the aim of leaving the rest of his life with me @marriage proposal. Read carefully, it all started in Dec 2009. this guy had seen me before then in an occassion, we exchange emails, contact and that is it. He's been bogging me through yahoo chat, phone calls so finally i said ok lets give him a try no harm in trying. that is how 31st dec all began. we will have series of chat all night, him telling me it good to communicate since we practically did not live in the same city or town atleast  8hrs drive to meet each other. we continue for 5months precisely without much relationships wahala. But what strick me much in everything is that he was a perpertual liar, man of 'grand ambition' always having project online (GOING ON) and non accomplished. He works as an IT (information tech) but is always broke, never got income of his own. His complains are: I did this job for this guy worth 250box but he doesnt want to pay me i dont know what to do? Inshort i've been working all nite trying to  rest some money they dont wanna pay me! i think i need to change my strategy. u dont see am working hard@ am trying my best it not moving, i need to move from here dont worry i've come up with a plan very soon,............. inshort i need to cut down on my expenses, dont u think it nice i go back to my parent place, get one room in the boyz quarter so i can start saving, it a nice idea right! so on so forth bla bla bla bla .............. then when u ask him coucou whatz up? how far what are ur plans now? just wanna know? That is trouble for him as if asking is a crime; I remember that even Christ encourages us to ask and you shall receive right!!!!!!!!. he will say;cant u be patient i told u give me sometime. Then finally i decided it was time i quit the relationship to give him sometime. Now am the one who is not reasonable, i want to hurt him, i've been planning for this, how can i do this to him, oh am running away from him cuz he cant afored to give me money, he is struggle and i know he has plans for us thing will be bettter in the future. Tell me sincerely is he worth keeping? Is it time to call it quit and do better things or hung around and cry if only i knew this was ................................. ? or let say women are too naive that they cannot take major decision especially that of dopping a man first before he dops u! then i'll ask this question what do this men take us for?....... LADIES?

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There's this saying Nigeria and I guess around the world, "there are many fishes in da water". This is age of internet and alot of young guys do stuff one can't imagine many moons ago.
Lucy, there is nothing new in life and also learn to be yourself too. A house that is built on sandy foundation cannot stand the test of time.
Your reference to Jesus is sort of you are not too sure whether its true and too bad, but again its an opportunity for you to know Him better too.
My advice is that you commit it in prayer to God, the advice you will get here are mostly emotional and sometimes will leave you with profound self guilt and pity which is not what its suppose to be. Relationship that will be for live is not something that you get by the roadside and you must involve the one whose name is above disappointment and obstacles, He was invited to a marriage feast and He turned lack and shame to abundance and joy.

Lucy people will fail you this Man never failed and will not fail you, have a blessed time in His presence.
You are just damn lucky that you were able to read the handwriting on the wall in good time. If he had opportunity to sleep with you, he would invariably had gotten you pregnant which would have been the worst thing that will happen to you, because then, you will see his real person in practice and there you are tied to pregnancy and with no option than to marry him and continue in a life-long regret. This goes a very long way to guide you in your future encounter and relationships. GOOD LUCK
Men, they are all the same any day any where. They feel ladies don't have feelings. When you care for them too much they take advantage of you. I do not blame those ladies that give them hell of trouble.
Anyway what is yours will not pass you bye. Good luck.
Hello Lucy,
What are you doing for yourself and for him? He has problem that you realized. He's still on the issue he believes in (not sure if its legit or not.) But if seems he is doing what is legit, I will advice you to stop deceiving yourself, Stay with him and pray for his ambition. He might need your spiritual inspiration support. If you see him to be serious minded about the relationship, don't just fold hands and complaining. HELP HIM TO HELP YOURSELF! Don't compare yourself with the common girls that believes in "for better for stay, for worse for go". If you give chance for other girl at his edge to his achievement, note that you allowed it. Your effort for five months or more could be wasted and eventually go back to pencil trouses wandering on street of which I pray it will never be your portion. You need to be more prayerful, enduring and persevering. Nigerian government as a whole has always been part of the problem of the mouth to hand catastrophe. We need prayers, I mean serious prayers for our individual needs, family and the country. May God bless Nigeria. Remember this fact: Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Be that Ideal woman!

Thanks for your understanding.
Bolaji (Ideal Realist).
@Francisca. It's really interesting, and that sadly, how easy it is for people (in this case a lady like you) to jump into conclusion and generalise. "Men, they are all the same any day any where"...that's a myopic statement to make. How could you so easily conclude that all men are the same and that in a negative sense. It's an uneducated thing to say. Should I say because a lady was bad that all other ladies have to bear the consequence of my experience with her? Would that make me accurate or just in my assessment of other ladies?
Maybe it will help if you reckon that there are over 6billion people on this earth about half of which are men from several thousands culture and languages and background. You met with only one (maybe 2, or 3 or 4...) of them and you decided all the other ~3billion minus 1 (or 2, or 3, or 4...) were all alike!
That's wrong.


Francisca A. Johnson said:
Men, they are all the same any day any where. They feel ladies don't have feelings. When you care for them too much they take advantage of you. I do not blame those ladies that give them hell of trouble.
Anyway what is yours will not pass you bye. Good luck.
All these tings you have said are evidence of unreliability and someone helping you to waste your life. Drop the bastard like a bag of Gari and RUN as far as God has ground.
Lucy, thank God you came to your senses before any damage could be done. He was and will never be a serious guy but he was only trying to see if you could release some funds for him. In other words, he might as well be considered a fraudstar. Thank your stars you did not fall a victim to his anthics.

Well Said Bro!
Charles Ugochukwu Okere said:
Lucy, thank God you came to your senses before any damage could be done. He was and will never be a serious guy but he was only trying to see if you could release some funds for him. In other words, he might as well be considered a fraudstar. Thank your stars you did not fall a victim to his anthics.

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