THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM
My best-and childhood-friend has been in great enmity with his mother for the past decade now, and recently,we almost quarreled as I tried to reconcile them. I pleaded with my friend to forgive her mother,that after 10yrs now,she must have changed but my friend still maintains a very hard stand. The community sees me as one of the bridge for reconciliation but is like I'm not going to meet up with their expectations,and this has become a great challenge-a big problem-to me.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Charles Ugochukwu Okere on -
You can take a horse to the stream, but you cannot force it to drink. You have started very well by letting your friend see the need to have a change of heart and forgive his mother, but if he remains adamant after all the enthreaties for peace, allow him to have his way. In that case, give him some distance so that he can understand you are not happy with his decision.
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Permalink Reply by Okolobah Efe Michael on -
Its no big problem, you have done your bit. To free your consience, let the community who expect much from you know how far you have gone to settle them. Also let them know whom among them is not willing to embrace peace, so that they will know who is to blame.
On the othe hand, let us know what is the problem between the two, because for your friend to refuse all peace approach, then it boils down on the gravity of the quarrel. If you dont mind let us know what is between them.
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Permalink Reply by Mavos on -
Very strange indeed. Let me just try and summarise. This is a family of 4 boys-my friend is the 3rd. At the time the 1st was graduating from d uni, the mother started pointing to him a girl he should marry instead of the one he was dating. The boy refused,and his brothers supported him. Before u know it, the family has divided into 2: dad&mum vs sons. Things degenerated to the extent that the boys were put in detention on the allegation of threat, the father being a very senior civil servant put in place a difficult bail term.Myself and others-automatically became enemies to the mother as we-tried against all odds to feed & care for my friend and his senior brothers. It took the intervention of a visiting state attorney at the time who became very annoyed and ordered their immediate release. Imagine the Judge asking my friend if he was sure the woman was really her biological mother. The mum was later accused of deceiving the dad-both physically&spiritually-leading to thier seperation for abt 8yrs now. And now the 1st boy is trying to bring the mum back home,but my friend and his other brother are strongly against the move. On 3 occasion b4 now,the mum have cried out to me to help her bring back the heart of my-best,close and trusted-friend. I have tried and now,only resort to prayers.
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Permalink Reply by Gloria Dafeyerakpo on -
The problem on ground needs God's intervention. If the mother has truly repented of her evil acts let her see the children one on one and sought out things. If they refuse at the innitial stage they ( the other two children) will someday come to terms with her. On the other hand she should hold on to God through prayers. For; there is nothing God cannot do.
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Permalink Reply by Charles Ugochukwu Okere on
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An apt opinion.
Okolobah Efe Michael said:Its no big problem, you have done your bit. To free your consience, let the community who expect much from you know how far you have gone to settle them. Also let them know whom among them is not willing to embrace peace, so that they will know who is to blame.
On the othe hand, let us know what is the problem between the two, because for your friend to refuse all peace approach, then it boils down on the gravity of the quarrel. If you dont mind let us know what is between them.
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Permalink Reply by Charles Ugochukwu Okere on
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Your friend's case is more of a pity than blame. His mother over played her card and went diabolical in order to get what she wanted. Her attitude is regretable and does not in any way portray her as a good mother. However, to offend is human but to forgive is divine. I believe she must have learnt her lession in this 8 years of separation from the family. Your friend and her sibilings should forgive her after all she is still their mother. If we expect God to forgive us our sins, then we should be kind enough to forgive our fellow human beings no matter the offence. Your friend should have a change of heart before God becomes angry with him for being hard-hearted.
Mavos said:Very strange indeed. Let me just try and summarise. This is a family of 4 boys-my friend is the 3rd. At the time the 1st was graduating from d uni, the mother started pointing to him a girl he should marry instead of the one he was dating. The boy refused,and his brothers supported him. Before u know it, the family has divided into 2: dad&mum vs sons. Things degenerated to the extent that the boys were put in detention on the allegation of threat, the father being a very senior civil servant put in place a difficult bail term.Myself and others-automatically became enemies to the mother as we-tried against all odds to feed & care for my friend and his senior brothers. It took the intervention of a visiting state attorney at the time who became very annoyed and ordered their immediate release. Imagine the Judge asking my friend if he was sure the woman was really her biological mother. The mum was later accused of deceiving the dad-both physically&spiritually-leading to thier seperation for abt 8yrs now. And now the 1st boy is trying to bring the mum back home,but my friend and his other brother are strongly against the move. On 3 occasion b4 now,the mum have cried out to me to help her bring back the heart of my-best,close and trusted-friend. I have tried and now,only resort to prayers.
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