Is that so?
I had a discussion with a friend recently on writing romance set in Nigeria and she believes it is highly unrealistic. I thought it was because of the western/African dichotomy in romance where a few people I met during my readings mentioned that most Nigerians find it hard to say I love you and would rarely give flowers and such. Now that I understand, even though I think even the gap is lessening as more and more imbibe the foreign gestures through movies, books, education abroad, dating other races, etc.
But where exactly does it come from this "Nigerian men are unemotional?" Is it from the culture and upbringing or what? Does being unemotional mean they feel nothing for the women they're with or they hide it and prefer not to voice it out? Also we should be bear in mind that emotions are not just about love and affection, anger is also an emotion. How come our men are comfortable showing that side of them to the extent of Domestic Violence but find it hard to be more sensitive when it comes to relationships? Some male reviewers of A Heart to Mend have found Edward too emotional and soft, hear one..
...I do wonder why a tough-minded Edward, who had the world at his feet, was sort of soft. It was easy for any tough-minded man like Edward to say, ‘I love you’ even if it was a lie, just to establish a one night affair with any lady. It was easy for a tough-minded man like Edward to relieve himself with prostitutes … But Whitman stigmatized her Edward with a weakness which was rare. Whitman’s tough-minded Edward couldn’t double-date neither could he raise a voice against Gladys.
So is that our idea of Nigerian men; brutish, unfaithful and harsh to their women?
Tell a Nigerian woman you love her without money and see what she would tell you , talkless of giving her a flower instead of cash on her birthday. Romance to me is only possible when people are comfortable not where poverty is so pervasive. poverty change the mindset of the people.
Nigerians pretend a lot. It is either they are too religious to show emotions or they are too discplined to respond to love overtures yet they do it in secret. We have come of age and the world has changed tremendously that one should be able to expess one's feelings at any point in time.
Nigerian men are not Robbin Stone( a character in Harold Robbins novel) Although we do see people that are unemotional(men/women) all over the world.I think the society we are love us to be pretenders.Have you notice that you hardly see public display of affection between lovers in Nigeria.Its the society we live in.But I believe with time,exposure,general economic well being of the society etc,things will change for the better.