By Simon Jacob
"I will love him no matter the pain,in the deepest of sorrows,he will be my hero,I promise forever with him..."mumbled an excited bride.
The excitement of finding "The Perfect One" is boundless,it is mostly a dawn of a new beginning. To many,it signifies an induction into shared responsibility and purposefulness,while undoubtedly marking the end of been a member of the 'Bachelors and Spinsters Club', however one looks at it,the new status comes with a rebranded garment. The period of honeymoon seems to be over very quickly these days with a lot of controversial marital incidences bombarding the air waves;tales of violence and domestic brutality appears to be a more deadly menance than the dreaded coronavirus.
Domestic violence was initially dubbed a 'Celebrity marriage malaise' attributed to insubordination by the female celebs,the case of Mercy Aigbe readily comes to mind(pictures of her been a victim of domestic brutality had hit the media a few years ago);unfortunately the narrative is changing,more women became more expressive, campaigns against violence on women was on a rampage,protests against this marital cankerworm was on a great upsurg because it became a national tragedy. The old traditional narrative that only women are the objects and victims of domestic violence has not only become obsolete but also a terrific dishonesty. Husbandmen have now objects of indescribable torture,abuse and unrestrained violence ranging from Acid and hot water bathe, to butchering stabs and poisonous meals which has led to the untimely death of able-bodied men. Marital Bliss and the fairytale of fun are associated with young marriage has been pathetically eclipsed with violent "Royal Rumble" in the sacred confines of matrimony.
"...I thought honestly that Maryam Sanda's gruesome act of murder will be the last tragedy but obviously I was wrong;only God can stop this monster..." Unfortunately,this has sent a negative signal and message to the unmarried Nigerian populace,the gentlemen are becoming rapidly alarmed,the fear of a wife with a kitchen cutlery is becoming the principal wisdom for continuous living,what now happened to the sacred vow taken before God and Man,what happened to the "for better,for worse...till death do us part", who has destroyed the bond of affection and sow a seed of animosity and marital brutality?what is the fate of our marriage institution?who will stop this moster from wiping out marriages with a pinch of melancholy; a resort to the originator of marriage and love could be the only prognosis to this evil malady that has engulfed homes.
Terms of imprisonment metted out to perpetrators of domestic violence might be a just way to pacify the soul of their deceased victims but certainly not the solution. Children are the worst hit of any marital dissolution (whether judicially or eternally),they suffer unfathomable psychological pains and if further affects their personality ego and how they behave ultimately in the society. Nigeria already has a lot of sickness bedeviling it ranging from bad governance, insecurity, judicial decadence and systemic failure,an unnecessary addition is totally undesirable. The period of dating,courtship and finally matrimonial solemnization must be thoroughly reviewed and possibly redefined,as much as intolerable silence is not encouraged,an indiscriminate murdering of once upon a time sweetheart is an unacceptable abomination.